I love his grins and laughs as he nurses if I do something he finds humorous.  (“Mama, you are silly!!”)  The way he smiles with a nipple hanging out of his mouth is absolutely hilarious!

I love his deep-sounding giggle that doesn’t seem like it should be coming from a baby that young.  He’s always had that giggle.  The first time he REALLY laughed so hard, we played peek-a-boo behind the couch with Daddy.  He thought it was hilarious and laughed so hard for so long that he spit up a little milk and gave himself hiccups.

I love his soft caress at night when he nurses.  His soft hand feels so good on my skin as he moves it back and forth on my bare arm or chest.  It almost sends shivers down my spine, and it always makes me smile in such bliss.

I love cuddling him at night with his body curled into a ball facing my belly.  I love sleeping with him, even though our bed is TINY, lumpy, and wiggly with all three of us in it!

I love his butt freckle!!!  I also love his chubby butt and thighs….and knees…and arms…and chin…and…pretty much every inch of him!

I love that he had a safe, healthy birth, and how we are so close because of all the Mother-Baby bonding things that took place because of his natural birth at home, things that may not have happened in a hospital setting.  I love how God orchestrated the finding of a midwife, the researching and learning of birth and breastfeeding, and so many other things.  I wouldn’t change a thing, except make labor a lot shorter.    I love how God designed labor and birth to be!!  I am so glad we had a home birth WITHOUT dangerous man-made drugs that have side effects we may not see til years later (and many that can happen immediately).  I am so glad we questioned and learned about everything, and to do what makes the most sense without worrying about what other people think….especially, in this case, what the mainstream hospital policy states.  I am glad for the wisdom of so many people God put in our path who are so much smarter and better for the Mother-Baby than hospital policy!!  They all contributed to his wonderful birth!

I love how excited he gets when he sees the puppy and we chase after him while I hold Patrick upright, close to the ground at puppy level.  He can say “dog” in ASL, you know, although we call it “puppy.”  I think it’s funny that he knows that but not the sign for “milk” or anything else.  We’re trying “more” at the dinner table, but mostly he screeches for food.  Sometimes he claps, a delightfully cute habit he picked up after being in church, and I wonder if he means “more” sometimes because they are so similar.

I love when I am getting dressed and he is wanting to nurse, that he will see his “bottles” and reach for them from the ground while chuckling.  He *knows.*

I love that he knows how to get down feet first from the bed and couch.  He is so smart and it seemed to have instantly come upon him how to do it, although we have been teaching him for months!  It is exciting to see his new skills “click” in his brain….which is probably quite large, if you have seen his head.  I’m excited about that, because his large head means his brain has the potential to grow and be of lots of benefit to others if it is put to good use from the start!

I love that his first “trick” was dancing….he stands (or bobbed his head while on his belly at first), and bends his knees up and down.  Not in rhythm, but sometimes it is for a few beats.  He does it to any music he hears: on the radio, tv, guitar, little xylophone, spontaneous homemade percussion instrument….I will make it a point to get him to as many concerts as I can to get him involved in the music that he enjoys so much!

I love that I have sacrificed a lot of “career stuff” and making money to nurture my child in the best ways possible while he is young.  Best choice ever, even if it was/is frustrating at some points to not be able to keep my site updated or to get pictures edited and out as fast as I wanted.  No amount of money I could contribute to our family income is worth sacrificing his optimal health and well-being.

I love that he loves his daddy and loves to play with him.

I love that he loves me and I am his favorite person in the whole wide world.

I love that that will change someday as he gets older…and the first woman in his life is replaced with the woman he chooses to spend the rest of his life with.  And that is the way it should be.  She will be the one he looks to for comfort and advice, the only other one to know about his butt freckle (besides the world wide web, to whom I just spilled the beans), and the one who will nourish him with good cookin’ (if he doesn’t end up the Head Chef himself!).  They will make decisions that I may or may not approve of, but I will have to trust then that God has helped us raise him well.  I will have to trust that the decisions they make were not taken lightly, and much thought (with that big brain!) was given to them.  As that day approaches when I am replaced by his wonderful wife – whom I am SO excited to meet – I will pray that God helps me to adjust accordingly to all that comes with that change in my relationship with my son.  I love that God has designed it that way!

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• May 20, 2010 -- 8 months!
• May 12, 2010 -- Happy Mother’s Day

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• July 8, 2010 -- I love my baby boy!
• March 5, 2010 -- A doctor!

Becoming mom (giving birth) was the hardest thing I have ever done physically, but “being” mom so far has not been as hard as some other things I’ve experienced.  To be honest, getting through college was harder.  The first few weeks with Patrick were like….finals week.  For art majors, it was also finish-five-projects-for-three-different-classes week.  I’m sure I’ll probably change my statement some day, thus the emphasis on “so far.”  But you know what?  I have a really chill baby, so being chill myself, and being married to a pretty chill guy….makes for a pretty chill baby experience.

I used to think that life would be completely different once Baby was born, and I think a lot of it had to do with social stereotypes of babies.  “They are fussy, colicky, always pooping, you will always be tired, you will this-or-that blahblahblah.”  You know what?  I think we need to stop complaining about babies!  They really aren’t THAT bad, especially if you actually use your head and think what is best for them (another topic), it actually makes life easier.   so…nope, my life hasn’t changed all that much in a drastic way.  I still have a life….I still see friends (so what if most of them all have kids too, and that’s all we talk about sometimes?  haha!)  I take him everywhere I go and it really doesn’t bother me (going by myself is nice too, though!)  My life hasn’t drastically changed, just slightly adjusted.  The best adjustment is that now there is this awesome little person who grins the biggest, bestest smile at me each time I walk into the room, with big blue eyes that look just like his daddy’s that say, “I LOVE you soooooo much!  You make me so happy and you are my FAVORITEST person in the whooooole world!!  GIVE ME MILK!  RAWWWR!”  (seriously – “rawr” – he says that.)

There are probably other things we have done that haven’t made life so drastically different.  We didn’t get a whole lot of those huge baby toys.  No swings, no seats, no exersaucers, no play pens, not a lot of battery-operated junk that doesn’t do much for babies’ senses, no huge plastic whatcha-ma-callits.  Our reason for not getting – or really WANTING – those things is 1) Babies should be held!  And interacted with!  (And kept an eye on!)  It’s soooo good for them!   2) Ugly.  3) Expensive.  4) Takes up too much space.  When you stop and think about it, none of it is really necessary, it’s all just convenience.  And I’d take a healthy, happy kid who sees and learns with curiosity over a baby who gets pushed aside to zone out in a swing while mom and dad do their own thing in the house.  I’m NOT saying you’re a bad parent if you have one of these things, ok??  (see paragraph below)  Some people get way too worked up and think everyone is “judging them” just because someone suggests there might be a better way – especially if they are guilty of the example here: letting their kid zone way too much and not interacting with them.  I totally understand needing somewhere to set your baby for a bit to keep them safe and happy.  We did borrow a little seat from a friend for a few months and it was nice to have so he could watch me while I was getting back to cooking dinner on a more consistent basis.  (I probably would have just worn him if he hadn’t been so dang HEAVY!  He’s outgrown the seat anyway…and now we can return it without having more junk lying around, lol.)  Back to the topic….oh yeah, simplicity.  Every time I see people with diapers in their cart or even just go past the diaper aisle, I think, “oh my gosh, I am soooo glad I don’t have to buy diapers!”  I PROMISE you, cloth diapers are EASY and if you know someone using them, you do NOT have to be impressed by them.  Not buying (literally) into the everything-is-disposable-and-costs-lots-of-money deal makes life simpler.  (Also – you WILL get free baby clothes thrown at you from every direction and there is no need to buy any….it’s also true that they say to leave the tags on, as much as it is a hassle to return or exchange them.  Don’t even bother keeping anything sized as “newborn” because it’s a ripoff, unless you have a preemie.)

Now I have to put this disclaimer because some people are supersensitive and think I’m being judgmental of them as parents, or bragging because I don’t spend money on diapers, or just have a general I’ll-do-things-my-way-and-you-do-things-your-way attitude (the attitude of the foolish).  I’m not saying any of those things that way!  If you thought so, you read it wrong, and you need to get over it.  That’s a really good motto for a lot of “offenses” that occur to us, isn’t it?  I’ve definitely learned from Matt over the years to “just get over it.”  Why be offended over every little thing?  (I still definitely have a ways to go sometimes!)  Also, a person can still be concerned for another child’s well-being if their parent is doing something like the example above [not interacting with them].  That doesn’t mean they think the parent is a bad parent.  Got the difference figured out?  Good, now apply it to other situations where you’ve been offended when you’ve felt that way.

I have to say, last year Mother’s Day was a bit more exciting for me.  For one, there was the suspense of not knowing whether we were having a girl or boy, or what our baby would look like, or what his or her personality would be like.  Then how we celebrated – Golfing and Nonna’s – good times.    Last year, it really bugged me (one of those get over it things that’s hard for me to actually do!) when people said “Next year you’ll get to celebrate mother’s day too!”  Next year. As if being pregnant didn’t qualify you as a mother yet!  How ridiculous!  And how much does it make a new mother feel as though everything she’s doing for her child to take care of it in her womb doesn’t matter??  Isn’t that what a mother does – take care of and nurture her children?  Just because the only evidence of her baby’s existence is the growing bump on her belly doesn’t mean she isn’t a mother yet!  So so so stupid….yet another thing to add to the pile of ways we demean rather than uplift and give confidence to new mothers who might be scared and nervous.  At any rate, I was already pretty stubborn in this opinion about already being a mom, so I ignored those comments and we celebrated Mother’s Day.   This year…hopefully tomorrow….my few-days-late present is a new fitness swimsuit to replace one that is several years old so I can work out in the pool!  And get ready for the Aquathon this summer, which I promised myself I would do all in the three-week series this year after having a baby!

I guess that’s about all I have to write now.  I’m going to crawl in bed with my boys and go to sleep! (co-sleeping….one more way to make life simpler with a frequently-nursing baby!)

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• July 8, 2010 -- I love my baby boy!
• October 22, 2009 -- My first photo shoot!

The doctor lady was very quick, and didn’t really play with me much.  I peed on her table after she didn’t put my diaper back on tight enough and it leaked out.  heehee…  I wish Mrs. Brenda did my checkup!  She always had lots of time for questions, and she played with me more.  Mommy says we will have to look into this, and also some other things the doctor mentioned that she isn’t sure are true and/or wouldn’t be best for me.

I still didn’t nap for a while until after noon in the car on the way home.  I think Mommy left me in the car for a while when we got home because I was finally sleeping.  (She kept checking on me every few minutes, though.)

Then this evening I got to lick some homemade bread!  I tried to grab it and stick it in my mouth, but Mommy wouldn’t let me very long.  But she did let me have some polenta from her plate at dinner!  It tasted like Herbes d’ Provence, or however you spell it.  I think I kept most of it in my mouth.  I licked some homemade salad dressing off her finger, too.  All in all, a pretty eventful day!

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• November 21, 2009 -- I met Brooklyn!
• October 22, 2009 -- My first photo shoot!

Here’s a picture of me talking.  I have a bit of a smile, but not my very best one.

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• October 22, 2009 -- My first photo shoot!
• March 5, 2010 -- A doctor!

Here is just one:

Hmm…I guess that was my hand and not a boobie after all…

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• October 31, 2010 -- Skateboard fun
• November 21, 2009 -- I met Brooklyn!